After Ender and Hana said they both had seen it elsewhere, I went looking. I found these additional rules.
You do not have to wake me up a 3 a.m. just because you can.
When wet and muddy, it is not required that you get on the bed with me.
I can occupy the bathroom without an audience and since the bathroom lacks stadium seating, it might be best that I do.
It is not required that large dogs step on my small barefoot toe on every single opportunity presented. It is also unneccesary for said dog to butt my head with that
very large knot in her forehead. Crippling me and knocking me unconscious does not truly further your goals.
When I am racing for the ringing phone, it is not necessary for all of you to collect en masse and block my path.
It is not necessary to remove every single item from every single flat surface in the house.
Storage cabinets do not need emptying just so you can take a nap on the shelves. Your one body does not require 2.5 shelves anyway.
Sitting in the roasting pan is not cute.
No, you are not on the wrong side of every door. You just think you are.
No, the neighbors have not missed you therefore when you escape from the yard, there is no need for you to go visit them. Nor must you return to your yard with every dog in the neighborhood.
No, the shoes are actually mine and not yours.So when I go to put them on there is no need to slap me , grab them or lay on top of them to keep me from actually putting my own shoes on.
And yes, I know what time it is and NO, I will not forget to feed you. So please stop reminding me. I can tell time.
While I appreciate the gift, I really must insist that you leave all dead rodents, birds, and rabbits outside where you killed them. And if by chance you MUST eat inside, at least do me the favor of bringing your meal to your plate, so I don't step on the "green organs".
Also, if you catch something at 4 am, it is NOT necessary to wake me up and let me know. You KNOW I'll find it later.
Please kill your meal BEFORE bringing it to me to "share" in the middle of the night.
You cannot get your way simply by asking over and over and staring at me. Staring will not make me obey you, you cannot control me...
you are so beautiful! Would you like this?
I do not consider panting in my face a form of air-conditioning, so it is not neccessary that you lay on top of me when its 90 degrees.
You are not gardening when you trench dens next to my bushes and trees.
Bonemeal is not a whole bone, quit killing the tomatoes looking for it.
Used tissues are not snot-snacks, quit digging them out of the trash and eating them.
I know when you've eaten something you shouldn't have, remember, I clean up the yard.
And here I thought my trenching was helping to keep the rain away from the foundation of the house! Just trying to help!
C-K-C
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Animal thoughts
Well, not animal thoughts really... my mom received an e-mail with the following in it and asked me to put it in my blog:
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, or try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can legally sell their children.
I think I agree with some of it, but not the food dish one.
C-K-C
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, or try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can legally sell their children.
I think I agree with some of it, but not the food dish one.
C-K-C
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Tagged
I was tagged by Dashiesrule
The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself." Then you tag 5 friends and list their names. The furries who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
5 Weird Things About Me
1. I really get along with my kitty sibs, we have an agreement that we will act like we don't when parents are looking at us.
2. I like raw apples.
3. I don't like to be sprayed with the hose.
4. I don't get on furniture.
5. I like to watch the animal planet on TV.
I tag Tin Tin, Charlie the Big Dog,Isabella ,Pippin, and Daisy Bean & Diesel
The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself." Then you tag 5 friends and list their names. The furries who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
5 Weird Things About Me
1. I really get along with my kitty sibs, we have an agreement that we will act like we don't when parents are looking at us.
2. I like raw apples.
3. I don't like to be sprayed with the hose.
4. I don't get on furniture.
5. I like to watch the animal planet on TV.
I tag Tin Tin, Charlie the Big Dog,Isabella ,Pippin, and Daisy Bean & Diesel
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Favorite toys
Well, after dinner tonight (I had some BBQ pork ribs from Mom), I asked mom & dad if they would take a picture of my favorite toys.
My dolly is getting a little nasty (at least that is what my mom says). Dolly is my favorite indoor toy. Mr Ring (the yellow ring) is really my back-up ring. Dad lost my main ring (looks the same) in the weeds (see previous post). My second favorite indoor toy is my saucer toy. Kind of a Kong thingy where the top and bottom screw together and mini peanut butter dog treats go in the middle. I am supposed to get the cookies out. My average time is 2 minutes. This next picture is of mom giving me the saucer filled with cookies.
Those peanut butter treats were really yummy. I love peanut butter and apples.
OMG- Mom just gave me dolly back but it is not the same dolly! It is totally new! I asked her where my old dolly went. She just said that he was "gone". Sigh... I hate breaking in new dollies!
C-K-C
My dolly is getting a little nasty (at least that is what my mom says). Dolly is my favorite indoor toy. Mr Ring (the yellow ring) is really my back-up ring. Dad lost my main ring (looks the same) in the weeds (see previous post). My second favorite indoor toy is my saucer toy. Kind of a Kong thingy where the top and bottom screw together and mini peanut butter dog treats go in the middle. I am supposed to get the cookies out. My average time is 2 minutes. This next picture is of mom giving me the saucer filled with cookies.
Those peanut butter treats were really yummy. I love peanut butter and apples.
OMG- Mom just gave me dolly back but it is not the same dolly! It is totally new! I asked her where my old dolly went. She just said that he was "gone". Sigh... I hate breaking in new dollies!
C-K-C
Monday, August 07, 2006
Pictures from the weekend
Well, I finally got my mom & dad into the yard with the camera. Not an easy thing to get the both of them at the same time!
The first picture is a picture of the pig weed in my yard. Do you see any pigs? Of course not! Just a bunch of stinking green weeds hiding all my bone caches and making it difficult to find Mr. Ring when dad throws it!
The second picture is of me running guard duty along the fence line where the chows live. I can make the circuit of my side yard in under a minute.
The next picture is of my mom. She is looking over the fence at the dog that my dad had said was a pitbull. It turns out it is a boxer. She was trying to introduce herself and me to the boxer but he/she was too shy. It ran and hid. My mom said the boxer was about the size of Cairo.
The last picture is my favorite. It is me and my dad in the garden. I am trying to show him which stuff to work on next.
Someone on one the web sites about blue heeler dogs said that we live life in the fast lane. I think that describes me perfectly!
The first picture is a picture of the pig weed in my yard. Do you see any pigs? Of course not! Just a bunch of stinking green weeds hiding all my bone caches and making it difficult to find Mr. Ring when dad throws it!
The second picture is of me running guard duty along the fence line where the chows live. I can make the circuit of my side yard in under a minute.
The next picture is of my mom. She is looking over the fence at the dog that my dad had said was a pitbull. It turns out it is a boxer. She was trying to introduce herself and me to the boxer but he/she was too shy. It ran and hid. My mom said the boxer was about the size of Cairo.
The last picture is my favorite. It is me and my dad in the garden. I am trying to show him which stuff to work on next.
Someone on one the web sites about blue heeler dogs said that we live life in the fast lane. I think that describes me perfectly!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Blogging again!!
My mom went and had her nails done today so she let me blog instead of her working. The rains have come almost every day. Pig weed (some kind of green weed that doesn't look like a pig at all) started out in our yard about 1/4" high. It is now 3 feet high. I have to do my springbok imitation (launch yourself into the air, all four paws flying, as soon as you land, launch again). Maybe my dad will take a picture of the weeds and my springboking. Yesterday when dad got home from work and I was in the yard, he heard me barking but couldn't see me cause the weeds were so high. I was barking at the chows in the next yard (one orange, one black).
I want to thank all of the new dogs that have visited my blogs because of Opy and Charlie the Big Dog's Paw-it-forward site and Dogs with Blogs site. I have been visiting a lot of sites myself and have bookmarked them in a special blog folder.
My dad just laughs and says somebody has too much time on their hands. I say- one day dogs will rule the world and it will be better!
I want to thank all of the new dogs that have visited my blogs because of Opy and Charlie the Big Dog's Paw-it-forward site and Dogs with Blogs site. I have been visiting a lot of sites myself and have bookmarked them in a special blog folder.
My dad just laughs and says somebody has too much time on their hands. I say- one day dogs will rule the world and it will be better!
Friday, July 28, 2006
Mom's great scare
Well, the rain thing has been going and going. The dachsies certainly know how to give rain!
My mom was driving home from work today (she works at Kirtland Air Force Base). She usually drives in what she calls the South Gate. The rain started coming down really hard just before she got thru the South Gate. There was water a good half-inch deep rolling down the road toward the main arroyo (like a huge dirt ditch) that carries water to the river. She crossed the arroyo but the water wasn't deep yet. She turned west to drive out to the Interstate road. She got only a little past the turn and had to come to a stop. A wall of mud, water and other garbage type stuff was roaring down into the road in front of her. She had to back up and make a U turn and go back thru all the water which was then nearly a foot deep. She made it back into the Air Base and told the guard what was happening. After that, she had to go out another gate and make it thru the city with it thundering and lightning and raining. She was scared and upset by the time she got home. I cheered her up right away by asking for a butt rub.
Looks like I will either be in my crate or in the house if it keeps raining all night like the weather people are predicting.
Say- I found a story on a black lab from Boston. She is an ambassador. Her story is found here:
http://www.fairmont.com/cop/catiecopley/
I don't know much more about her than that. Her job sounds like a good thing!
My mom was driving home from work today (she works at Kirtland Air Force Base). She usually drives in what she calls the South Gate. The rain started coming down really hard just before she got thru the South Gate. There was water a good half-inch deep rolling down the road toward the main arroyo (like a huge dirt ditch) that carries water to the river. She crossed the arroyo but the water wasn't deep yet. She turned west to drive out to the Interstate road. She got only a little past the turn and had to come to a stop. A wall of mud, water and other garbage type stuff was roaring down into the road in front of her. She had to back up and make a U turn and go back thru all the water which was then nearly a foot deep. She made it back into the Air Base and told the guard what was happening. After that, she had to go out another gate and make it thru the city with it thundering and lightning and raining. She was scared and upset by the time she got home. I cheered her up right away by asking for a butt rub.
Looks like I will either be in my crate or in the house if it keeps raining all night like the weather people are predicting.
Say- I found a story on a black lab from Boston. She is an ambassador. Her story is found here:
http://www.fairmont.com/cop/catiecopley/
I don't know much more about her than that. Her job sounds like a good thing!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Be careful what you wish for...
The other day, I asked the Dachsies to send me some rain. Not only did rain come my way but thunder and lightening. It started raining and I could hear the thunder way off. The wind was blowing and dad wanted to make sure that the kitties were safe. He opened the door to the porch and both he and I went out. Worf wanted in immediately (even if he is a Klingon, he's not stupid).
Simon wanted in but was taking his time. I was dancing around trying to get dad to go back in the house where it was safe. All the time he was out there, the thunder and lightening kept getting brighter and louder. Well, finally dad picked up lardbutt Simon and was just ready to step in side when the lightening turned purple and at the same time the thunder cracked like a large gun. Simon used dad as a launching point into the house. dad leapt into the house and I was practically under him. Inside my mom was sitting in her chair with white knuckles. Nerise was flattened as much as she was able and had huge eyes. We all decided that it wasn't safe to go out (tho later Simon did go out- that cat obviously has some mental issues). Next time I ask for rain, I'll include the no thunder and lightening rule.
C-K-C
Simon wanted in but was taking his time. I was dancing around trying to get dad to go back in the house where it was safe. All the time he was out there, the thunder and lightening kept getting brighter and louder. Well, finally dad picked up lardbutt Simon and was just ready to step in side when the lightening turned purple and at the same time the thunder cracked like a large gun. Simon used dad as a launching point into the house. dad leapt into the house and I was practically under him. Inside my mom was sitting in her chair with white knuckles. Nerise was flattened as much as she was able and had huge eyes. We all decided that it wasn't safe to go out (tho later Simon did go out- that cat obviously has some mental issues). Next time I ask for rain, I'll include the no thunder and lightening rule.
C-K-C
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Oops!
I just noticed that the text doesn't quite match up with the pictures. Worf is the orange and white kitty. Simon is black and white and Nerise is the grey kitty. Hopefully I'll get better at this!
Meat and kitty sibs
This is my evil-eye look. Don't I look like a ferocious guard dog?
This is Worf. He is kitty by birth, Klingon by choice. He will take on anyone and anything. In a later post, I'll tell the tale of Worf. He is one tough kitty!
This is Simon. During the summer, he is pretty much an outdoor kitty. He loves to lay on the porch 24/7. When he's not laying around, he eats. He weights at least 20 lbs and is supposed to be on a diet.
This is Nerise. She and I like to chase each other but we never catch each other. She loves head butting our mom and playing with catnip mice.
By the way- I got lucky tonight (no- not that way!). I got some chicken skin. Mom doesn't like chicken skin so when mom & dad have chicken for dinner, I get to eat the skin from Mom's piece. She also gave me a couple bites of her chicken. Dad and I worked in the garden this afternoon for just a little bit. It has cooled off to the low 90's here and today was one of our alloted watering days so I supervised him. Worf was also in the garden as we have catnip growing to 3 feet high between the garden boxes. Worf is a total niphead!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Happy 4th of July
It is the 4th of July and things are pretty quiet (so far). Last night we had quite a few fireworks going off in the neighborhood so I stayed inside til quite late. We also had a bit of rain yesterday which was much needed. It is so dry here that we are restricted to watering on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. No one is supposed to water on Friday. Since the rain fell on Monday, it was free water!
I won't get to do much running around with my dad today as he has a sore leg. He had to go to the doctor's (human vet?) yesterday. The doctor gave him some medicine that makes him sleep a lot. Mom will take me out but she is not much fun with Mr. Ring (she throws like a girl). I love Mr. Ring. It is a yellow rubber ring that used to have a ball in the center. Dad took the rubber ball out and just throws the ring. It is my favorite outside toy. Mom won't let Mr. Ring in the house. If she finds it in the house, she usually puts it in the dishwasher.
My favorite indoor toy is Mr. Dolly. He squeeks when you bite him in the stomach. I have more than one actually. You know, the real deal and a backup. I also have a squeeky tennis ball and a flying saucer thing that you can stuff cookies inside of. I like to play with that and get the cookies out and crunch them. I used to have a Kong but it is missing (no doubt hid by those pesky cats!)
I won't get to do much running around with my dad today as he has a sore leg. He had to go to the doctor's (human vet?) yesterday. The doctor gave him some medicine that makes him sleep a lot. Mom will take me out but she is not much fun with Mr. Ring (she throws like a girl). I love Mr. Ring. It is a yellow rubber ring that used to have a ball in the center. Dad took the rubber ball out and just throws the ring. It is my favorite outside toy. Mom won't let Mr. Ring in the house. If she finds it in the house, she usually puts it in the dishwasher.
My favorite indoor toy is Mr. Dolly. He squeeks when you bite him in the stomach. I have more than one actually. You know, the real deal and a backup. I also have a squeeky tennis ball and a flying saucer thing that you can stuff cookies inside of. I like to play with that and get the cookies out and crunch them. I used to have a Kong but it is missing (no doubt hid by those pesky cats!)
Sunday, July 02, 2006
First Blog
My name is Charlie Kelley-Church. I am a spayed female Blue Heeler/border collie cross. This means I can run fast, herd people and other animals, and dig deep holes in the yard.
I am new at this blog thing. Mostly my mom and dad do these kinds of things. I am 7 years old (human years). I was spayed before I was released to my parents from the local pound. My parents got me for a guard dog as well as pet. I can seem ferocious when I am in guard mode. I live with 3 cats (house siblings). They are: (1) Nerise, a small Russian Blue cross, (2) Worf, a yellow and white longhaired kitty [kitty by birth, Klingon by choice] and (3) Simon, a black & white tuxedo kitty who has got to weigh at 20 lbs!
My parents both work during the day so I guard then. My dad works for the Albuquerque Public Schools as a network manager (whatever that is!). My mom is a computer programmer. My mom and dad also have other businesses. My mom makes beaded jewelry. My dad designs web pages (not sure what that means exactly, but it helps to keep me in dog cookies. I usually sleep outside in my crate (it's on a covered porch and has all my food and water near by. The crate also has a roof in addition to the regular porch roof. My parents let me stay in the house at night if I want to but usually I prefer my crate.
I have read Isabellas blog, Zacks blog, Cairos blog. I hope I can be half as interesting at they are!
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